Each one is free to use, takes minutes rather than hours, and is built to get you out of overwhelm and into action. Everything you type stays in your own browser, nothing is sent to me, and each tool prints or saves as a PDF. More will be added over time.
Sex Therapy Tools
Pre-Session Questionnaire
Ten questions to answer before your first session, what you expect, what is working and what is not, what you want, and what gets in the way. Write in your own words, save it as a PDF or copy the text, and send it to me before we meet.
Yes / No / Maybe Trauma-Informed List
Work out what you enjoy, what you are open to, and what is off the table, first on your own, then together. 150 items across ten areas, each rated Yes, Maybe, Soft no or Hard no with room for a note, then gathered into one list to print, save as a PDF and compare with a partner. Written to be done when you feel grounded, with permission to pause and to change your mind at any time.
12 Types of Intimacy
Intimacy happens in far more ways than the sexual one. For each of the twelve types, emotional, intellectual, aesthetic, creative, recreational, crisis, conflict and more, write a real example from your relationship and mark the ones you would like more of. The empty boxes are where the conversation starts.
The 5 Love Languages
Gary Chapman’s five ways people give and receive love, words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch. Take the free quiz on the official site, then compare results with your partner: most friction comes from speaking different languages, not from a shortage of love.
Connection Compass
A dedicated moment to check in with each other, clear the air and tackle changes, weekly or monthly. Each of you rates your mental space and your week, answers five questions on your own, then you come together to choose topics, talk, write down what you agreed and finish with something fun. Past Compasses are kept so you can see how things move.
Spanking 101, the ebook
The introduction to impact play: where, how and with what, the do’s and the don’ts, and why consent is the sexiest part. Eighteen pages, written the way I teach it in workshops, with chapters on the toolbox, technique, sub drop and aftercare. £10, and the PDF is yours the moment you have paid.
Other Tools
Here are other tools that clients have found useful in my years as a broader therapist.
Pre-Session Questionnaire
Ten questions to answer before your first session with me as a general therapist, what you expect, what is working in your life and what is not, what you want, and what gets in the way. Write in your own words, save it as a PDF or copy the text, and send it to me before we meet.
The Drivers Questionnaire
Five drivers live in all of us. Score twelve quick questions and see which are most you right now, in order, with what each one gives you, what it costs when it runs the show, and the permission that frees it. There is no good or bad driver; they come forward at different times, when different parts of us are activated.
The Business Brainstorm Tool
A ten-minute worksheet for any message, meeting, launch or offer. Fill four boxes, swap chairs once in the middle so you answer as the person receiving it, and leave with a content list, a pitch in your clients’ words, and the feeling to write towards. Print it or save it as a PDF when you are done.
Parts of Me, the book
I authored a book for young people, therapists, parents and anyone interested in emotional regulation. Parts of Me introduces the idea that we are all made of parts.