Sex therapy tools · relationships
Connection Compass
A dedicated moment to check in with each other, clear the air and tackle changes, because there is rarely time or energy to talk about everything that needs talking about. Each of you answers on your own first, then you come together. Best done every week or month.
How a Compass runs
Preparing
- Plan a moment. Choose a time when everyone is well rested, and make it a recurring thing.
- Prepare your answers. Fill in this sheet on your own before you sit down together, or set aside time at the start.
- Set the space. Drinks and snacks, candles, music, make the space feel different from everyday.
During
- Share answers, then choose topics. Take turns reading your answers, without discussing yet. Decide together which topics matter most and how long each gets. Short of time? Pick one or two each and plan another Compass.
- Discuss one topic at a time. Whoever raised it shares their side first.
- Write down what matters. New agreements, plans, anything worth remembering, and check nothing is missing before you finish.
- Do something fun together to end, and share what you wrote down in your messaging app.
Priya Parker, The Art of Gathering: a good meeting place is different from the usual, so you can step out of habit and bring your best self. Even the dinner table changes with a cloth kept just for this.
My answers
How much mental space do you have right now?
How would you rate our relationship this week?
What’s one thing you loved about our relationship this week?
Did anything happen with you, or with us, that you’d like to talk about (more)?
Was there anything this week you’d like to see different in future?
Are there plans or other things coming up that need discussing?
Would you like to change anything about existing agreements or planning?
During the Compass, what we agreed
Fill this in together at the end. Anything new, anything to remember, and the fun thing you are doing next.
Agreements, plans and things worth remembering
Something fun we’re doing to finish
Connection Compass
This Compass at a glance
Unlock with your email
Unlock this Compass at a glance
Pop your email in to see your Compass gathered on one page, and to print, copy or file it.
Only your email is sent. Everything you have typed stays on this device.
Past Compasses
Starting a new Compass files this one here, with its date, scores and agreements, so you can see how things move week to week.
